Online dating looks matter

But, you can see what the problem is right? Guys have it made because we know that nearly every girl puts her picture up my guy friends have confirmed this for me. Rather, we focus on the relative advantage of one thing over another, and estimate the value accordingly. Have you ever ordered dessert with out asking what all the choices are or looking at the dessert menu?

Maybe you want chocolate cake, but you always want to know what your other options are so you can compare the chocolate cake you think you want to a potentially better dessert? We make comparisons in order to help us make decisions for the same reason we stereotype people: Dating sites should require that guys say how much money they make so girls a can make relative comparisons just like guys do with our pictures.

Please forward this to anyone you know who works at an online dating company.

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And thank you for supporting my mission. She has worked in the asset management industry for 13 years and has factual data to back up her claim.

Jay loves talking about money, collecting coins, blasting hip-hop, and hanging out with his three beautiful boys. You can check out all of his online projects at jmoney. Thanks for reading the blog!


I totally agree with you, this is unfair! But you can still make an educated guess if the guy is working as a lawyer, doctor or startup anything in San Francisco… I never used match but on another site you can see if the guy lives alone, has roommates, owns a car or a bike, and keep narrowing your income bracket, unless he just racked up debt for the past 10 years. And every time a guy manipulates a women just for sex and is only concerned with looks it sets men back years. As a guy this would be a complete turn off. Thanks for telling all guys to not put their income up! Luckily I have a girlfriend!

From my own experience I disagree. In everything, you have to take a chance, because we all have imperfect information to start off with.

Your Looks and Your Inbox (dating sites)

The key is trying to keep it short and learn as much as you can as quickly as you can. I usually took the income category with a grain of salt, assuming people would exaggerate it. Great post and well defined on your point. However, I disagree that women are getting screwed. Ask only for what you can give. This is where a lot of guys sometimes get it wrong from a physical standpoint. Is this idea politically correct?

The rules of dating and being civil have changed with on-line dating. Luckily for me, I am happily married to a man that I did not meet on a dating site. I did do on-line dating when I was single though I felt that all the fields and the pictures people use are very deceiving.

He agreed that I look like exactly like them, but he thought they were the best of me and apparently that is not truth in advertising. I think men weigh looks much more than women weigh money. Looks are subjective, income is not. This is an interesting read. My question is that if income is required to post, who is to say men will be honest about it, anyhow?

All this shows is that girls are just as superficial as guys are always accused of being, just about different things. Interesting theories here, but I think that the way people behave on the internet or when asked to compare looks and money will be different than they behave in person. If asked to compare people in person you weigh many more factors than thir specs online. Here, personality and compatability the main relationship factors come into play. But I agree about the comparison shopping. Dating sites seem to me to be like grocery stores, full of comparisons merely because the information on alternatives is.

But at a grocery store you review not only the packaging but the nutrition facts and prices of all comparable foods.

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Alice I would be curious to learn more about the women they included in this study. Like if some of the women make their own good money, do they still make the decisions based on income like the study says. I would bet no. At the end of the day, women are looking for a clown ninja, someone who entertains them and makes them feel safe. You could just go out with the guy and then ask him at the start of the date how much he makes. See how well he responds to that…: Via dating sites, I met a couple of guys who were pretty darn comfortable financially.

I care more about a picture than stated income. You can find out that detail as you find out if you even like the guy. For me, it was just a case of wanting a guy who could get and keep a job. I try to atleast give the average looking guys that leave it blank a chance. Men just need to know that if they fill in that field, they WILL get him up by more gold diggers. Great post, But I still dont think you fully convinced guys to give up their income amount, because then we can keep a low radar from money hungry people.

You would have more success telling all the girls you know to remove their pictures from the sites, and only to release it after guys release their income figures. Wow, so what you are saying is people truly are superficial and base facts on first impressions? Probably not your point, but what I got out of the story. Hey look women do compare things lol. My real point is that is seems as though, even in this day and age, many people use their first impression to make judgement on other people. I for one did not understand that, because of all of the schooling and sensitivity classes I have taken.

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That is until today, when my instructor is making us write a 4 page research paper due tomorrow on first impressions and how someone is judged BAD because of simple first impressions. The study goes specifically states guys in the bottom ten percent of looks can be chosen if they make enough money. Haha… I love reading all these comments ; Thanks again for giving us something juicy to think about, MakinSense Babe!

Your Looks and Your Inbox (dating sites)

Always a fan of fresh and juicy! I agree with Paul. This is why men dont post thier income, because they want woman to be into them for the person they are and not the materials they posses. If a woman skips my profile because she doesnt know my income, then good for me. That is not the person I want to date.

How much do looks matter when dating?

Guys, beware for these kinds of woman. Given two choices, I will always pick the less-attractive guy who makes more money. I do occasionally rule guys out based on their income. Our chart shows how men have rated women, on a scale from 0 to 5. The curve is symmetric and surprisingly charitable: Given the popular wisdom that Hollywood, the Internet, and Photoshop have created unrealistic expectations of how a woman should look, I found the fairness and, well, realism, of this gray arc kind of heartening. When it comes down to actually choosing targets, men choose the modelesque.

Someone like roomtodance above gets nearly 5 times as many messages as a typical woman and 28 times as many messages as a woman at the low end of our curve. Site-wide, two-thirds of male messages go to the best-looking third of women. So basically, guys are fighting each other 2-for-1 for the absolute best-rated females, while plenty of potentially charming, even cute, girls go unwritten. The medical term for this is male pattern madness. The female equivalent of the above chart shows a different bias: Females of OkCupid, we site founders say to you: Finally, I just want to combine the two charts to emphasize how much fuller the inboxes of good-looking people get.